Hey guys! Sorry I’ve been absent online lately. The last few years of my life have been pretty intense, in both good and bad ways, and I found myself wanting to “live in the moment” as much as possible.
So I made a choice to deliberately pull away from social media—for a short while—so I could really focus on what matters most to me. Specifically, my spiritual life and my loved ones. And that’s exactly what I did.
And it’s been incredible.
I’m not going to lie; stepping away from social media wasn’t easy. It was very uncomfortable and, at times, made me feel left out or irrelevant… but that’s a topic for a whole other blog post. Because overall, temporarily pulling away from social media was one of the healthiest things I’ve ever done.
It allowed me to press a kind of RESET button on my heart. I know that sounds dramatic—and it is—but that’s really the best way to explain how I feel. To better understand, here’s a very brief recap of my last few years:
- 2014: I fell into a deep depression and tried everything I could think of to bring myself out of it, to no avail. It was really scary and debilitating.
- 2015: Feeling hopeless and fearing I’d never be happy again, I decided to go on a spiritual journey with a powerful plant medicine, called Iboga, and swiftly came out of my depression with a newfound joy and appreciation for life.
- 2016: I fell in love with life again, and spent almost all my time listening to and learning from loved ones (a growth experience that was long overdue). I traveled. I danced. I laughed. I cried. I prayed… It was a beautiful year. (see more below)
- 2017: My brother Matt was diagnosed with cancer and passed away a few months later. My heart broke. I waited in terror for my depression to come back and steal away all the beautiful things I’d just reclaimed. But it never came. I dared to hope…
- 2018: I was quiet. I was still. Then I smiled and started making new plans…
And now I’m here! Happy and grateful and still completely in love with life. And so excited to be back on social media, connecting with all of you, and sharing all the exciting things to come!
So what’s next for me? LOTS!
I’m working on 3 books right now, one is part of an epic fantasy series I’m hoping to release soon (fingers crossed), one is a non-fiction comedy about being a girl in a guy’s world, and the other is the sequel to Sophie & Carter. (Yep, it’s happening, eeep!) I’m also planning to roll out two new non-book “projects” in the next six months, but they’re kind of a secret right now so I can’t tell you—yet. (But ohmygoodness they’re going to be so much fun!) And lastly, I’m trying my hand at screenwriting. That’s right, my good friend, Amanda, and I have been working on a TV show that I am ABSOLUTELY IN LOVE WITH and cannot wait to share with you guys so stay tuned!
So that’s where I’m at. Hopeful and happy to be here with you guys, and so excited to continue creating new things! I really want to thank you all for your constant support and encouragement these last few years. You’ve been a rock for me–even when I wasn’t online–sending me messages of love and hope and sharing your hearts and dreams with me. You guys are like medicine for the soul and I appreciate you so much.
Here’s a quick list of all the wonderful things I’ve experienced since coming out of my depression. There’s always hope, guys. Always.
- I bought a ukulele.
- I laid in my backyard grass for hours, looking up at the clouds.
- I danced around a roaring fire with a group of girlfriends while singing along to our favorite song.
- I stood barefoot on a Mayan Temple overlooking the rainforest.
- I meditated at the bottom of the ocean with waves rolling over my head.
- I had the honor of officiating the wedding of two of my very good friends. (I’m ordained. Crazy, right?)
- I traveled the west coast in a pop-up camper with my family. It was amazing.
- I cut my hair. It’s a pretty big deal.
- I painted. A lot.
- I built a teepee in my backyard.
- I sang. Everyday.
- I cried with strangers. I laughed with strangers.
- I mourned the loss of my brother with my family members and learned how to be grateful for certain painful things.
- I created. I listened.
- I forgave. I healed.
- I fell in love with myself, my children, my family. I fell in love, all the way.
- I started saying “I love you” out loud, all the time, whenever it was true.
- I prayed. I chanted. I knelt in temples and worshipped in gardens.
- I climbed a desert mountain and roared at the top of my lungs when I reached the top.
- I slept on the beach and under the moon.
- And I dreamed. Then I woke and started dreaming all over again…
Life is beautiful, is it not?
I love you guys. I love your guts. Here’s to all the beautiful things to come!